Monday, April 15, 2013

I've been Bad .......

Since stepping into 2013 I've been many things ..

Some good....

I've been newly self-employed = SUPER exciting new job,so many things to learn and lots & lots to do!

Some bad....

I've been a bad mom = mediating squabbles through gritted teeth, throwing my eyes up to heaven at the 'Im bored!' mantra when I should be enthusing them to get up & go ! ...I feel I haven't had enough time to do fun things with my kids, does it ever get easier (I guess I know that answer to that one!)

I've been a (sort-of) bad wife = making time for each other is never easy and now that I'm working from home there's a whole new balance to find, I don't think I'm doing a very good job at it :(

I've been a bad friend = Many of my good friends have troubles and need my help or at least my ear why cant I find time to give THEM more time?

I've been a bad maker = I've flitted from one project to the next, every project I take up makes me think of all the others I have 'in train'. I feel like I've achieved nothing and that (horror of horrors)  making is becoming a chore.

I've been a BAD Blogger :( = Ive stopped posting - I've stopped even planning to post

I've been so busy over these past months .....
and I'm feeling overwhelmed.
It would be easy to blame it all on my new circumstances at work
but I love this job and in order to make my life worth living then I need to stop, reassess and start to pay more attention around here!

I've been beating myself up in so many areas and its doing my spirit no good.

on Thursday last I had a meeting in Ballymaloe in East Cork about their fabbie Litfest Event and when the meeting was over I did what I NEVER do - I took 20 minutes out,

and went for a walk on Ballycotton beach.....
alone ....

& I came to some decisions ..

After a bit of soul searching I came to the decision that my main problem was not all the work I have on 
but me ! ME! I'm the problem!
I'm such a perfectionist and if I'm going to stay sane then I'm going to have to stop beating myself up -
Maybe I'm not the best mom, wife, friend or maker, 
but I'm doing the best that I can do AT THIS TIME !

I haven't posted on the blog for so long is that I want everything to be perfect...
perfect photos, perfect craft,  perfect spelling ! 
I'm officially giving myself a break !

So to that end I hope to be posting more often from now on 
and I'm looking forward to getting back in touch with my bloggy friends! 
I've missed you guys!!!

Lots of love
Siubhan x x x


  1. Right then young lady, Step outside and take a seat.

    I'd say 3 Hail Mary's and a couple of Our Fathers will do the trick.

    Ah sure you may as well throw in a quick decade of the rosary, (just to be on the safe side like)

    Don't you ever change mate. X


    1. Thanks Joe !
      & don't you ever change either ! your a gentleman & a STAR!
      & I'm so happy your my friend big man!
      x x x

  2. Oh I think a lot of us suffer from trying to do it all. If we were talking to a friend we'd tell them not to be so hard on themselves. We can't do everything and I'm sure your family understands. It's lovely to see you back and I hope your walk along the beach has cleared your head. Take care of you.
    Ali x

    1. Hi Ali Bee !
      Thank you for taking the time out to comment and you are so RIGHT ! If it were one of my friends I'd be the first one to say 'Chill! Don't beat yourself up !!' Its lovely to be 'back' & I'm popping over to your gaff now to see what you've been up to lately ! x x x

  3. A post that is full of things that many of us need to be reminded of every so often. You are right that we cannot be good at everything, but I wonder if you ask the people that you feel you have let down if they feel that you actually have? You may well be surprised. As my Mum always says - we can only do our best. You should go to the beach more often :)

    1. Thanks for letting me know you have't forgotten me !
      My mum had a saying like that too - she used to say 'Do your best, that's all a horse can do !' Wise & a bit nutty advice all rolled into one !
      That's good advice about hitting the beach more often - I'm going to do that ! x

  4. Nice to see you posting again!! Just take things one step at a time. Remember your health and well-being needs to be a top priority, as well as your family. Everything else will fall into their place with a little planing :)


    1. Thanks Cindy !
      Good to see you've been keeping busy too !

      S x

  5. Last time I checked, God is the only one who's perfect & (s)He's not keeping score. Only one doing that is you. Let it go. Take a step back (or a walk on the beach) and remember what is important. You love your family. They love you back. You love your friends. They love you back. JUST AS YOU ARE. Beating yourself is stealing valuable time away from you being able to be the best you and no one can do that better. BTW, you're doing great. :-)

    1. Thanks Elita ! Since writing this post I've had so many of my friends give me such lovely & caring feedback ...wayy heyy!! I feel soo much better already ! (think I may have just been having a moment!)
      S x


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